Archive for August 2009

eldritch pandemonium

Unearthly, extraterrestrial noises make me hang loose. Once discerned, at that point, I zone out and dematerialize from this planet.

I got my own brand of company

Just like after your first kiss with someone…its really hard to say the right things. I wonder from time to time how else could I purge?

Spasmodically, we need to act mischievous. Always aim for being free and take risks. Mend your intentions and at times, you gotta go against what your friends tell you. Arrows will show you different directions, it’s just a matter of which one to follow. Not every decision that’s made will result to your expectation. Though its hard to accept reality, there’s no denying the amazing feeling you get before you drop the bomb. Hard: sleeping, eating, thinking straight, keeping your composure, its very hard to stand when your knees are shaking…its so hard to explain this love feeling. Act at your own will, look at it in different angles and up that courage.

If you can have a spot on the Starbucks cup to say something…what would you say?


California

Across the room, you sit. everything is awkward.
I pretend not to notice you. but I do.
I travel from town to town just to see you. oh, its so worth it.
You avoid me. you know when to stop.
I avoid you. I’m such a bad actor, stuck with a shitty script.
I hear your voice. speechless.
Please don’t talk to me. its for the best.
Don’t take it too personal. you don’t know a thing.
It happens and it happened. unrequited love.
I guess you should hate me I’ve been wearing a mask around you.
Matter of fact, its a good thing. would’ve been a disaster if I wasn’t.
Someday you’ll know…by that time I’ll be in California.

sunsets are magnificent.

fluctuate


I know the last page so well, I can’t read the first. So i just don’t start.
Of course I’ll be alright…I just had a bad night.

I am weak-willed.

I am unforgivable. I am lazy. I am insecure. I am crazy. I am complicated. I am repetitive. I am a distraction. I am competitive.

I am weak. I am dumb. I am a liar. I am numb. I am a screw-up. I am sure. I am a floor sweeper. I am no cure.

I am ignorant. I am imaginative. I am selfish. I am insensitive. I am secretive. I am my own therapist. I am vague. I am an escapist.

I am indecisive. I am awkward. I am self-indulgent. I am a bastard. I am confused. I am writing. I am free. I am fighting.

I am my own worst enemy. I am a nightmare. I am your mind’s invention. I am your own disaster. I am in a jar. I am a firefly. I am burning out. I am ready to cry.