Beauty…

March 7, 2009 by Sydney.

…the kryptonite of my life. staring in amazement of the perfectly angled curves, clouds form around you with angels playing their heavenly harps, everything begins to move in slow motion, heart beat are at a faster rate, knees weaken and begins to tremble, lost for words, slight redness on the face occurs, and in some cases, a good amount of saliva droops down out of your mouth. if you are experiencing any of these symptons, contact your local cupidologist for you may be diagnosed with halandalepunanidalekissthefrogprince disease. also known as the “love at first sight” disease. ok calm down and don’t be scared. there’s nothing to be worried about. unless you’re an obsessed pedohile who stalks people in and out of their home…then i’m sorry to say that there’s no chance for you…you are gonna die. but for the mild cases of the popular disease, THERE IS A CURE. now now i’m not a doctor, i didn’t go to university and study cupidology, and you’re probably thinking who the hell is this guy trying to save the many of whom are diagnosed with the not-so-deadly disease. just shut the fuck up and read ok. fuck. 2 years ago, i was diagnosed with halandalepunanidalekissthefrogprince disease. i was watching fight club when brad pitt took of his shi…oh i mean haha hey look over there, a unicorn! sorry folks, i blacked out there for a sec. moving on. ok scene: you’re in a club, (let’s just say…distrikt) a beautiful, jaw-dropping female walks by. what do you do?! notice that your friends are trying to get her attention right away. and for the desperately needed one, goes for a pick-up line. BIG NO NO! unless you’re brad pitt then anything you say is sexy. you gotta relax, stay cool. while everyone is in their SUPERMAN mode, you should stay mysterious and be in CLARK KENT mode. girls like that. i’ve read it somewhere, one of those FREE magazine for lonely people…and we all know anything written there is 100% true. its alright to stare, stare too much then that’ll just creep out the opposite sex. trust me on this one…through experience:

GIRL(S): “me and my friend has been staring at you for quite a while now…and we were…ah wow, i can’t even stand up straight, my knees are trembling…I’m your biggest fan Mr. Pitt! do you mind if i get your autogr…….”

ME: “I am sorry but I’m not Brad Pitt…my name is Belen, Sydney Belen…and if you happen to see ‘Mr. Pitt’, tell him to take his face-off and install a new one…’cause i’m tired of this. honestly! this has got to stop!…but thank you for the compliment. *wink*”

………..anyways, i guess the best medicine to use is ummmm hmmmm…i would recommend the “be yourself” pills. extra strength. take one pill everytime you approach a girl. you’ll do just fine. if that doesn’t work, then i suggest you go through plastic surgery.

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